never have i ever...

never have i ever
ever ever
had a time in my life where i could not find a song to describe how i am feeling
i need my sister to come home and guide me to something
ya know?
that something that you can listen to 100 times and still feel like there are a few more listens before you are done for the day?
the something that you can scream to in the car
or cry to in your bed
or laugh to with your friends
just something
preferably a song
with inspiring words
and dramatic music
and reminds me that although things might be a bit confusing now they will turn around

kinda like when i was little and for reasons i cant remember and wont attempt to acknowledge i would end up crying in front of my family, usually in the car, and someone would do a terrible unjust to my sorrow and make me laugh. i would end up laughing and crying and feeling awful but somewhat better than when i was just crying.

i just need that something


for now i will deal with the massive amounts of cds lindsey lead me to under her bed
and use them for a temporary band aid

adiós